Saturday, January 31, 2009

Struggling with Forgiveness?

I'm having a really hard time forgiving several different people who have hurt me and made my life miserable. They have all either apologized or gone out of my life, but I still have a hard time bringing myself to forgive them. I always tell myself that i have, but I can't really believe myself. I pray about it constantly, but i don't see any improvements. Any suggestions?

1 comment:

Burb said...

Hey,
Thanks for your honesty. I actually do have some practical suggestions.

First off, you obviously WANT to forgive them. This is a good thing.

Luke 17:1 ¶ Jesus said to his disciples: “Things that cause people to sin are bound to come, but woe to that person through whom they come.
Luke 17:2 It would be better for him to be thrown into the sea with a millstone tied around his neck than for him to cause one of these little ones to sin.
Luke 17:3 So watch yourselves. ¶ “If your brother sins, rebuke him, and if he repents, forgive him.
Luke 17:4 If he sins against you seven times in a day, and seven times comes back to you and says, ‘I repent,’ forgive him.”

I want to encourage you with a couple of things,

1. You're not alone. I was once in a fight with someone that went on for 5 years. Even to this day, I'm tempted to bring old wounds back up and to hate them again. However, I cannot do that and should not do that if I've really forgiven them.

The best thing that I've ever heard about forgiveness is this:

"True forgiveness is like setting a prisoner free...only to find out that the prisoner is yourself".

When we forgive, we are the ones who are free to live again, because when we hold on to anger, it chains us and steals us of joy and true life. Jesus is the only one who can give us the power to Truly forgive.

2. We must PRACTICE forgiveness. Remain encouraged, Forgiveness takes time. And every time you're tempted to hate these people for what they've done to you, you must stop and say, Lord, please give me the strength to treat them as if they've not sinned against me...the same way that you treat me as if I'm innocent of sinning against you only because you were innocent on my behalf. The more you do this, the easier it will get to practice forgiveness. But it will take a while, so don't fret if it keeps coming back up.

It's ok to be hurt, what you do with that hurt is what can be good or bad. You have a choice every time you wanna relive the situation.
-You can take it to the Lord and ask him to "turn that (anger/remembering what they did to me and reliving it all over again/i hate them and wish bad things on them) light switch off" and go on with your life from this day forward having learned from these wounds and letting that Hatred marinate in the Gospel love of Jesus...OR

-You can let it own you and live in as a prisoner of your own sin and hatred.

It sounds like you want this to get better, but just like I tell my guitar students, you've gotta practice.

In this instance, its not your efforts that will be the practice, but your preaching the Gospel to your own heart.

So, in a nutshell, I'm asking you to continue doing what you're doing, but I'm also asking you to give this situation to God every time it creeps up, and quit returning to the prison of anger that Satan wants you to live in. It will take time and prayer, but Jesus is teaching you and sustaining you through this.

God Loves you, so do i.

Write back,
Derrick