I appreciate what you said, and I know that doubting one's faith is in reality an assurance of his or her faith. I also know what it feels like to doubt my faith, and what I'm feeling is not doubt. The problem is I understand and agree with everything you said. I know that doubt in a Christian's life is necessary in order to strengthen his or her faith. I know that new believers experience extreme feelings of doubt because of their sensitivity to sin, and that mature Christians are, in a way, more immune to the "little things." I know all this and agree with it. The problem is that I find myself not caring about it. I don't doubt that I'm a Christian, I'm just afraid of the path I'm on. I find myself in Church listening and praying, "OK, God, help me here, I really need you right now. I know I've been saved, help me live my life right." But after I open my eyes I just go right back to not caring. It's not that I doubt my faith, it's that I'm apathetic toward it. Again, I appreciate what you've said, but what can I do about just not caring? I know how to be a Christian, and I know how to live a faithful life. I just don't care enough to try sometimes.
-Doubting Thomas (original poster)
3 comments:
Doubting Thomas,
Sorry that its taken me so long to respond. Your question deserved a lot of thought. So, my understanding is that you aren't doubting your faith but that you just don't care about your faith.
I'd like to know more about your situation to be able to answer more effectively. However, My initial thoughts are that you don't care for a reason. Perhaps that reason is that you surround yourself with people who don't care about following Christ, perhaps it's that you spend the majority of your time "renewing your mind" with things that distract you from Christ rather than point you towards Christ, or perhaps you've lost sight of what the Gospel really is.
All that said, let me encourage you in the fact that its normal to go through seasons of Spiritual Drought, that's what you're in right now. Here's a helpful article on the subject written by my friend Matt Slick.
http://www.carm.org/devotions/dry.htm
Feeling spiritually dry?
"Have you ever felt as though you couldn't hear the Lord's voice if He were next to you shouting your name? Have you been, or are you now in, a period of spiritual dryness? If you have had a spiritually dry time and are now past it, then praise God. If, however, you are in the midst of one, then maybe this can help you.
First of all, it isn't necessarily bad to be in a spiritually dry place -- unless it is because of sin. If we commit a sin that we know the Lord wants us to abandon, then He often withholds His fellowship from us. We sense a distance between the Lord and ourselves, and it hurts. Of course, this does not mean that the Lord is abandoning us, nor does it mean He does not love us. If anything, it is a demonstration of His love to let us feel broken fellowship since it moves us to repentance.
On the other hand, spiritual dryness can be a specific time that the Lord wants us to go through as a time of testing and of preparation. The Lord will allow us to be tested into order to refine our faith. Think about it. Do we stay Christians because of the feeling of fellowship we have with the Lord or is it because we trust in Jesus, God in flesh (John 1:1,14), as our Savior and Lord (Jude 4)? We are justified by faith (Rom. 5:1) and our assurance of salvation is found by faith, not by feeling. After all, "The just shall live by faith," (Hab. 2:4). Therefore, The Lord can use a spiritually dry time to cause us to examine what and who our faith is in so that we might rest assured in the cross, and not our feelings that can deceive us (Jer. 17:9).
Spiritual dryness can also be a time of preparation. Most every major person in the Bible that was used mightily of God had to go through a desert time. This includes Moses, Elijah, Jesus, and Paul. Being in a place where we are dry, waiting, wanting, praying, examining, etc., is often the proving ground of strength and refinement. Then, after this time is completed, the thing that we have been prepared for comes upon us. Sometimes this preparation is for hardship, sorrow, and pain. Other times it is for blessing, reward, and ministry. Remember, the Lord has not saved us to be trophies on a shelf. We are instruments in His hands to be used in the world. This usage requires that we be able to be used, able to be sent, able to trust the Lord in spite of what we see and feel! Hence, the time of spiritual dryness that is a time of preparation.
What do you do in a time of spiritual dryness? First of all, you should ask the Lord to reveal any unconfessed sins of which you have not repented. If He reveals anything to you, then confess it as sin and repent of it -- even if it is a sin you have committed so many times before. Second, you must read your Word regularly. Third, you must pray regularly. And fourth, you must trust the Lord through this. You must look to Him and remember that He loves you greatly and will never forsake you. In this, your faith will be perfected, your character improved, your walk strengthened, and you will be prepared for the tasks ahead that the Lord has called you to encounter.
And finally, in the midst of your dryness, offer praise and thanksgiving to the Lord. Do not let your feelings rob you of the opportunity to praise and thank God even when the times are not so great. Remember, it is easy to praise God when things go well. But the true men and women of Christian character praise God through the trials as well."
I hope that this article has been helpful to you. My advice to you based on the limited info that I've been given, is that you ask God why you are feeling this way, and that you ask Him to re-focus your heart on the incredible truth of the Gospel. That's at least a start. I also encourage you to find someone at your church...(me, if you go to my youth group), and discuss these things with them in person. Don't be ashamed, that's what the body of Christ is there for..to help one another through these times.
In the meantime, don't lose heart. God loves you and so do I.
God Bless,
Write back,
Derrick
i am interested in what you said toward the end , when you said you know how to be a christian, i do this often and try to depend on myself to "be a christian" rather than deprnd on god, i have learned that is trying to also live up to the law and if i could do that i whould not need jesus, also the enemy may be attacking you, who whould enjoy you being here more than him, but also GOD is our salvation, he is in control, he will grow you, just ask him is there something he is wonting to show you, ask for grace the desire to care that only comes from GOD anyway, It will get better He who began a good work in you will carry it on to completion, with love and in hopes of helping
That's helped a lot. I haven't really been trusting God to pull me through this drought, and I think that's been my weakness. I haven't been reading my Bible as often as I should, and I definitely haven't been praying as I should. I think I was trying to pull myself through, even subconsciously. I wasn't thinking, "I don't need God, I can do this myself" or anything like that. But deep down I think I was relying completely on myself to get through. A lot of times I tend to see myself as capable of pulling through any situation, and I know that's not right, I know I've got to rely on God to pull me through. Humility is a big problem that I've struggled with. I'm not outwardly boastful, but on the inside I'm always thinking about how well I'm doing or something like that. In a way I pride myself in being humble. Ironically, the second you think you're humble, you're not. I know that, but I still have trouble relying on others to get me through when I feel like I can do it myself.
-Doubting Thomas
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