Thanks for this question. Let's begin by looking at some passages of Scripture that discuss confession.
1John 1:5-10 ¶ This is the message we have heard from him and proclaim to you, that God is light, and in him is no darkness at all. If we say we have fellowship with him while we walk in darkness, we lie and do not practice the truth. But if we walk in the light, as he is in the light, we have fellowship with one another, and the blood of Jesus his Son cleanses us from all sin. If we say we have no sin, we deceive ourselves, and the truth is not in us. If we confess our sins, he is faithful and just to forgive us our sins and to cleanse us from all unrighteousness. If we say we have not sinned, we make him a liar, and his word is not in us.
Rom. 10:9 because, if you confess with your mouth that Jesus is Lord and believe in your heart that God raised him from the dead, you will be saved.
James 5:16 Therefore, confess your sins to one another and pray for one another, that you may be healed. The prayer of a righteous person has great power as it is working.
I think that it's important that we first ask the question, What is confession? The bible describes it as an acknowledgment of a truth or an allegiance. In the verses above there are two types of confession. 1. The type where we verbally acknowledge our devotion to Jesus Christ, we "confess Him as Lord" and 2. The type where we have a discussion with our peers which involves asking forgiveness. The first type of confession should be the foundation for the second.
The first type, acknowledgment of a truth or an allegiance, is another way of saying that we put our faith in Jesus and we trust in Him to save us from judgment. If we do this, the Bible tells us that we are given the right to become sons and daughters of God. We are accepted because of Christ's righteousness and not our own. Because of the forgiveness and freedom that we experience in Christ, we are able to be honest. We no longer need to play games. We must acknowledge that we are sinners and need salvation. Our sin has separated us from God and Christ, "the Way", offers us reconciliation through faith in His atoning sacrifice on the cross in our behalf.
This is important to understand because if there is no confession of our sins to God then there will never be any true confession of sins to each other. In that way then the first type of confession is the foundation for the second. As James 5:16 makes clear, it is good for us to confess our sins to one another...but hold on. What is the basis of your confession and why do you want to confess to someone? Let me clarify some things.
I believe that it is good for us to be honest to one another (those that are trustworthy) about our sins as long as its preceded by true confession to Christ through prayer. For example, if I've hurt your feelings in some way because of something I've done and we don't talk about it, how can we ever work it out? I also think that its necessary to have a small group of close friends who pray for us and walk with us through our struggles with sin (i recommend that this be a person of the same gender...and its foundational that they are a Christian). Small group Bible studies are great places for this. In this way, confession to each other is necessary and good.
I DO NOT believe that you need to confess your deepest darkest secrets to all people at all times...that would be STUPID and could quickly become gossip. Also, many times people will confess sins to one another to show how "edgy" they are or that they can "outcuss the sailors." I don't think that this is healthy. I also don't think that its a good idea for you to confess your sins to a friend of the opposite sex that your interested in dating. Many times confession can be "self centered" a "poor me" or "look at me" mentality. That's why it needs to be a small group of friends who REALLY know you. People who would help you seek help elsewhere if necessary and all preceded by your personal confession to Jesus Christ through prayer.
For me, a lot of times I'll say, "Lord...i'm struggling with (fill in the blank) please give me the ability to overcome this struggle and to glorify You. Please also give me some other Christians to help me through the struggle....all so that Your name may be magnified."
I hope that these feeble and fallible thoughts of mine have been helpful for you.
God Bless,
Derrick Harris
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