This is a question that a majority of all people struggle to answer (young and old). So, you're not alone in the struggle. It's kind of hard to answer this question because if we were talking in person then I'd ask you to give me an example of one of your friends who you believe has a purpose and why do you think that you don't. So, all that said...I'm left to speculate generally about you (unless you'll come talk to me at the church sometime DON'T BE ASHAMED, YOU'RE NORMAL). So, I'll just share some brief thoughts that have been helpful to me. My friend Hugh Whelchel (you can email him if you want cause he said he'd be happy to help answer this question too...hwhelchel@rts.edu) has been a huge encouragement to me and you'll hear some of his wisdom in this answer.
Many times we lump the term purpose into a category that it doesn't belong in. Biblically, our purpose is to glorify God in all things. That's pretty basic yet very complicated to do. Many times we run into trouble or sad times like you're going through when we compare ourselves to others and mix up purpose with calling and vocation. Sometimes its helpful for me to remember the differences between these terms.
Purpose: the overall meaning of life. (of course there are many different answers out there to this question). I believe that the Bible is true and that Jesus was God who became flesh and revealed the will of God to us for our lives. That ultimate will is that we come to Him with our lives and offer them as living sacrifices to Him, that we confess Him as Lord (king), through faith. He made us and we won't really know what in the heck is going on unless we listen to Him. We listen to Him through reading Scripture and living it. Of course, we must TRULY believe that Jesus is the real deal...otherwise Scripture will seem like nothing more to us than any other book, but in reality, it's the Word of God. And Jesus is the Word who became flesh.
Calling: your unique passions, gifts, desires. (this has nothing to do with anybody but YOU and realizing what GOD has given YOU). God made YOU...YOU. He didn't make you the person next to you. It may take you a while, but you'll eventually realize the difference between you and other people. You're special. If you hate you, then its probably because you want to be somebody else. But in reality, you're YOU. If Gershwin tried to be Bach then we'd never have Gershwin. If Bono from U2 tried to be Miley Cirus then...well....that would just suck. You need to go to God and say "who am I". You're at the time in your life when you're figuring that out. Be patient, have fun with it, and ultimately, I don't believe that you'll answer the question of who you are unless you seek to find the answer in the one who made you...God. So your calling will be living as YOU-full as possible in all situations. Your purpose for doing so will be grounded in glorifying God with your YOU-fulness. (sorry I'm making up words)
Vocation: Your work. You could be paid for this or not. It is the practical outworking of your calling (gifts passions). This can be a paying job but is not limited to it. For example, lets say that Alice is a married woman who feels that her calling is to love others through her gifts of hospitality, painting, and love for children. Alice has come to this understanding after years and years of prayer, jobs, etc. Alice is unable to have kids. So, she decides...well God must have a reason for this and I can still glorify Him (purpose) so I'm going to start a daycare for pre-schoolers, I'm going to teach them to paint, and I'm going to love the children and parents in the name of the Lord. The daycare is Alice's vocation but vocations are subject to change.
See, our purpose never changes and if you exist then you have one. I assure you that it is to shine the light of Jesus. Our calling is unique to us. Right now I'm a youth pastor and I can use my gifts of music, teaching, and being half insane...but I may not be a youth pastor forever. I've learned that I have these gifts through reading the bible and falling more and more in love with it, by playing in bands, and by asking God why He's given me these gifts. By failing and succeeding. By trying to be other people and realizing that it was an empty vacuum of suckiness. When I was in Jr. High and High School...i was just beginning to realize that I even had gifts. I can't wait to see what God has taught me when I'm 80 (if i stay alive). Our vocation is a place for us to work out our calling but all with the same purpose. Vocation is not a means to an end...it is an opportunity to shine.
Right now, your vocation is primarily school, but your calling is (i don't know, you tell me) and your purpose is to glorify the Lord in both of those things. Try not to see school as a place to perform but a gift from God that allows you to ask the question, WHO AM I? My encouragement to you is to look in the mirror and say, God made me...God show me who YOU made me to be...please let me be that today.
I'm happy to talk with you further and hope that this little blurb has been helpful.
Peace and Love in Christ,
Derrick
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