How do you deal with lust after you have confessed the lust to a friend?

Hi,
Thanks for your question. To be honest with you, I'm a little unsure of your situation. Would you be willing to clarify your question a bit further? Is the lust that you confessed to a friend...a lust for that friend (for example, did you confess to the girl/boy that you're lusting after?) OR Did you confess to a friend to let them know that you were struggling with lust and ask that friend to keep you accountable? OR is it something completely different? If you can give me more insight into the situation then I'll be able to encourage you in a more focused manner.

In General:
Lust is a result of sin. It helps me to think of sin, particularly lust, in terms of a battle. Many times we think of sin like World War 2, meaning that if we just come up with the right battle plan, then we can invade, conquer the enemy and then go back to our normal way of life. However, lust is more like the war on terror. We must always be fighting, wearing our armor, and live life as if the enemy is around every corner. The truth is that sin starts in our minds/hearts.

Matt. 5:27 “You have heard that it was said, ‘You shall not commit adultery.’
Matt. 5:28 But I say to you that everyone who looks at a woman with lustful intent has already committed adultery with her in his heart.
Matt. 5:29 If your right eye causes you to sin, tear it out and throw it away. For it is better that you lose one of your members than that your whole body be thrown into hell.
Matt. 5:30 And if your right hand causes you to sin, cut it off and throw it away. For it is better that you lose one of your members than that your whole body go into hell.

Mark 7:15 There is nothing outside a person that by going into him can defile him, but the things that come out of a person are what defile him.”

So many times we try to deal with our sins by just controlling our behavior while not recognizing that we need to take our thought life to the foot of the cross. So your battle with lust as a Christian should be twofold.

1. Physical: figuring out what it is that you don't have the self control to handle, asking for help from someone older than you to aid you in ridding your world of those things being readily available to you. This is why Jesus said that if your "right eye causes you to sin..cut it off and throw it away." He didn't mean that you should cut out your eye, but what are the things around you that cause you don't have the maturity to be around without falling? Is it your PS3, cell phone, dvd's, internet? Cut them out...in some way, you're probably addicted to lust more than you know. As with any addict, he/she must get out of the "bar" before he/she can begin to see healing in the area of "drinking" It's no different with lust. You need to give yourself a "safehouse" before you can think with a clear mind. This step is easy..you know what you need to "cut out"...so do it. :)

2. Spiritual: Your thought life must be taken to the foot of the cross. Jesus wants you to not be a slave to this sin..that's why he died. As a Christian, you CAN see victory over this sin. It will take time and constant battle. I encourage you to get together with someone older than you (a Christian) to pray about this on a regular basis. Another thing that's been helpful for me is to think of "stop signs" When you catch your mind going to that place of lust...think of a HUGE STOP SIGN and say...I've gotta stop. At that moment, stop and ask Jesus to help you to STOP. I also encourage you to read the word of God. Particularly Hebrews 4:14-16. Jesus "sympathizes" with you. He UNDERSTANDS your struggle. You can always go to Him with CONFIDENCE...even if you've fallen. This is what it means to walk as a disciple.

I don't know who you are...but i want to encourage you to bring some older people (of the same gender as you) into this struggle to battle with you much like soldiers on a battlefield. Take the step of faith to talk to some people about this. Don't be afraid. Satan wants you to be ashamed but now is the time that you need to trust your reputation to Christ as you take a step of faith to.....

Eph. 5:11 Take no part in the unfruitful works of darkness, but instead expose them.
Eph. 5:12 For it is shameful even to speak of the things that they do in secret.
Eph. 5:13 But when anything is exposed by the light, it becomes visible,
Eph. 5:14 for anything that becomes visible is light. Therefore it says,
“Awake, O sleeper,
and arise from the dead,
and Christ will shine on you.”
Eph. 5:15 Look carefully then how you walk, not as unwise but as wise,
Eph. 5:16 making the best use of the time, because the days are evil.

Confession will bring healing. Satan and your sinful nature are powerful in darkness. Jesus is the Light of the world. You can take this to Him, you can see victory, but you must be willing to battle. Don't look ONLY to other men/women to win this for you...but trust others to walk with you to the cross.

I hope that my feeble insight has been helpful. I'm here for you and happy to walk with you through this if you're willing to speak with me in person.

God Bless,
Derrick Harris